Gardening on the Moon ( GOTM )

Written by Jeff

Phoenix is NOT New Jersey

Imagine awakening one morning and finding that you were in a lovely, but very different place. That is how I felt after moving to Phoenix from the rolling green lands of northwestern New Jersey. (Jay Leno’s snide comments about the stench and pollution of that state aside…our town was rurally bucolic and life there had a very comfortable familiarity). image by squeakymarmot

For over two decades we came annually to Arizona to visit my college roommate and his wife. It was always a given that we’d eventually relocate here. After a few false starts, and a temporary delay due to a sluggish real estate market, we eventually arrive.

It has been a bit of an adjustment. Phoenix has a beauty of its own, but it isn’t green. It is rugged and brown and the sunsets are awe-inspiring. Quite different from the east coast.

Same Old is Not Quite the Same Old

Except not TOO different. We’ve swapped A&P and Shop-Rite for the bigger supermarkets like Frys and Safeway. But the chain fast foods eateries have followed us; and indeed have multiplied….Taco Bell has multiple competitors here in this Valley, and most hamburger joints boast a southwestern theme. Think rodeo cowboy art next to McDonalds’ Dollar Menu placard, and plastic saguaros in Burger King. And I was heartened to find that Best Buy and Circuit City exist west of the Mississippi.

But change is hard. . After all, in my former town I knew a plumber who actually made emergency calls on Christmas Day. We had a mechanic we could trust, a physician who returned calls, and a phone programmed with the number of the best pizzeria in town.

Welcome to the Valley…..Finding the Right Barber!!

Particularly scary was trying to find a new barber. I am not fussy about many things, but who cuts my hair is of major concern to me. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a lot of hair (refer to the picture on the About page) and I really have an easy style. I’m not fussy. I just want a place where they are friendly, but remote. I don’t want to sit down and have to begin talking from the time the haircut starts to the time it stops. I want to speak when I have something to say and just sit quietly when I don’t feel like chiming in. I don’t care what the politics of the place is because I generally don’t discuss those things in public. Nowadays politics has become the third rail and I don’t want someone with a razor in hand being agitated when they get near my neck!

So, I began the usual foray around town to try different barbers. Now I don’t want a salon or a hair stylist. I want a barber. I can wash my own hair, what is left of it, and dry it and get it into some sort of shape. I just want someone to trim my hair, raise my sideburns and shave the back of my neck. And every once in a while I might need an eyebrow trim. I don’t let the barber clip the nose hairs because I don’t want a scissors used on everyone else to get that close to my breathing zone. It’s weird, but that’s the way it is.

The first haircut in Phoenix was especially remarkable. In New Jersey I had a comb over to shelter the top of my bald head. It wasn’t that I thought I had a lot of hair or I was trying to trick someone, I just didn’t want all the explanations and comments of people if I shaved the top of my head. I was working in a university and there were just too many people who might feel compelled to say something so I waited for the right moment to make the move. So now…new life; new hair!!

I went on the Internet and found a picture of Harry Smith, host of the CBS Morning Show. I wanted his hair style. For someone without a lot of hair, he looked quite dignified. I brought his picture with me to show the barber who turned out to be a young blonde from Russia. I explained what I wanted and she seemed to understand and away she went. When it was over, I had my wife take pictures of me throughout the cut. Lastly, we then took a picture of me with the blonde barber and the next time in, I brought her a copy. Yep, my picture is still taped to her mirror…. up there with photos of prom up-dos and toddlers’ first hair cuts.

Remarkably there weren’t too many comments from people I knew (which at that point numbered only six in the whole state) so that trauma was over. If the truth be told…. no one noticed! (Note to self: We take ourselves entirely too seriously!!)

Gardening on the Moon, www.gardeningonthemoon.com, originally published this post